For real though, only 2-8% of rape accusations turn out to be false (depending on where you get your info). And keep in mind that it’s estimated that at least 95% of rapes go unreported. And in many situations, women recant their accusations because of threats, or disrespectful treatment from the justice system. So when you sit in front of me and say “false rape allegations are just as bad as rape itself!” and “I have no reason to believe her so I’m not going to” I hope you know what you’re saying. Because you’re saying that it’s just as bad that a handful of (mostly) men are falsely accused of rape each year as it is that one rape will happen every two minutes in the US alone. You’re saying that you’re just as angry about the ~2% of false accusations as you are about the ~97% OF RAPISTS WHO NEVER FACE ANY KIND OF JUSTICE FOR THEIR CRIME(S). And, worst of all, you’re saying that if a woman or girl you know tried to confide in you that she was raped, instead of supporting her you’d be just as concerned that she might be lying. And that makes you a shitty, dangerous person who supports rape culture.
It occurred to me, after reading this excellent post on women in fiction and the Bechdel Test, that perhaps you could construct one to address issues of POC and race. The analog seemed obvious, so I just wrote it out.
1. It has to have two POC in it.
2. Who talk to each other.
3. About something other than a white person.
Now, you see the obvious issue there, right? Yeah, it has to do with number one. Even in stories that feature prominent POC characters, it is so rare to find more than one present, let alone who know each other well enough to talk to each other…
I check my Facebook page 36 times a day for the sole purpose of making sure I have not accidentally posted a nude photo of myself
I reread an email 13 times before pressing send to ensure I have not written something in the email that could convict me of a crime
Before taking a stage when asked if I allow flash photography I always want to say “No” because I’m terrified flash photography will give me epilepsy
I know it doesn’t work like that, still
I never eat nuts on an airplane out of fear of that I will suddenly develop a nut allergy and if I have to asphyxiate I don’t want it to happen at 30,000 feet
Twice in the last two years I’ve been aborted from an airplane for running screaming down the aisles as the plane was taking off
I can’t walk through San Francisco without worrying my indigestion is the beginning of an earthquake
I brace for tsunamis besides lakes in Colorado
I’m not joking
The last time I saw Niagara Falls I couldn’t take it
It was too much much
I had to plug my ears to look at it and close my eyes to listen
Generally I can’t do all my senses at the same time they are too much much
Like if you touch me without warning, whoever you are, it will take everything I have to not hate you
Imagine your hands are electrical sockets and I am constantly aware that I am 70% water
it’s not that I’ve not tried to build a dam
Ask my therapist who pays her mortgage
My cost of living went up
at five years old when I told my mother I have to stop going to birthday parties because every time I hear a balloon pop I feel like I’m gonna get murdered in the heart
Last year a balloon popped on the stage where I was performing, I started crying in front of the whole crowd
plugged my ears and kept repeating the word “LOUD LOUD LOUD LOUD” it was super sexy
That’s what I do
I do super sexy
Like when I asked the super cute barista 11 times ‘are you sure this is decaffeinated? Are you sure this is decaffeinated? Are you sure that’- yes I drink decaffeinated and still jitter like a bug running from the bright bright bright
I have spent years of my life wearing a tight rubber band hidden beneath my hair so my brain could have a hug
These days when no one’s looking I wear a fuzzy fitted winter hat that buttons tight beneath the chin
I only ever wear a tie so that when I convince myself I’m choking my senses have something they are certain they can blame
As a kid I was so certain I would die the way of meteor falling on my head
I would go whole weeks without looking at the sky ‘cause I didn’t want to witness the coming of my own death
I started tapping the kitchen sink seven times to build a shield
My mother started making lists of everything I thought would kill me in hopes that if I saw my fears they would disappear
Bless her heart but the first time I saw that list I started filling a salad bowl with bleach and soaking my shoe laces overnight so in the morning when I ironed them they would be so bright I would be certain I had control over how much dark could break into my light
how much jack hammer could break into my heart
My spine it has always been a lasso that could never catch my breath
I honestly can’t imagine how it would feel to walk into a room full of people and not feel the roof collapsing on my ‘NO NO NO I am not fine’
Fine is the suckiest word
it never tells the truth
And more than anything I have ever been afraid of I am terrified of lies
How they war the world
How they sound by our tongues
How they bone dry the marrow
How did we get through high school without being taught Dr. King spent two decades having panic attacks?
Jumped at thunder
I think we are all part flight the fight
part run for your life
Part ‘please please please like me’
Part Can’t breathe
Part scared to say you’re scared
Part say it anyway
You panic button collector
You clock of beautiful ticks
You run out the door if you need to
You flock to the front row of your own class
You feather everything until you know you can always, always shake like a leaf on my family tree and know you belong here
You belong here and everything you feel is okay
Everything you feel is okay
Disabled characters are written into stories for one reason: the disability. Do most people actually believe real disabled people spend our days obsessing about being cured? Or rhapsodizing about killing ourselves? Here is the truth: Disabled people barely ever even think about our disabilities. When we do think about them, it’s usually because we are dealing with an oppressive, systemic problem, such as employment discrimination. Can’t there ever be a disabled character in a book or film just because? Where the topic doesn’t ever come up? All sorts of interesting stories can be written about a disabled character, without the disability ever being mentioned. You know, just like real people.
The vast majority of writers who have used disabled characters in their work are not people with disabilities themselves. Because disabled people have been peripheral for centuries, we’ve been shut out of the artistic process since the beginning. As a result, the disabled characters we’re presented with usually fit one or more of the following stereotypes: Victim, Villain, Inspiration, Monster. And the disabled character’s storyline is generally resolved in one of a few ways: Cure, Death, Institutionalization.
so maybe i’m opening myself up to a huge shitshow here
so we went to see julia serano do a reading tonight for her new book, and it was super cool, she is awesome and writes so well and talked about a lot of really useful, really insightful stuff
but one of the things she mentioned was the idea that bisexuality reinforces the gender binary, and she referred to that as like… a perspective from a fixed identity (i’m sure i’m not wording this entirely properly), brought up along with things like “pink is an inherently submissive color”, or like “bdsm is inherently abusive” - basically the sort of thing that people say when they are not considering alternate perspectives? idk
and during the q&a a couple people asked about that in more detail, and her explanation for why she finds that statement problematic basically came down to “well just because ‘bisexual’ and ‘binary’ both start with ‘bi’ doesn’t mean they’re the same”, and “no one even knows what pansexual means outside queer culture”, and “that’s the word we’ve been organizing under for so many years”, and “well monosexual people reinforce the binary just as much if not way more, so why are we calling out people who are already oppressed”
and idk i just felt really dismissed, like, i KNOW that no one understands nonbinary gender identities, that is a HUGE part of my marginalization as a nonbinary person, i get that it’s awkward or difficult to explain that to cishet people. i get that queer people are not the biggest problem here. i get that no queer person should be telling another queer person that their ID is invalid. but that doesn’t stop your word for that identity from making my identity invisible. i used to identify as bisexual, until i realized it was a word that did not allow space for me to be attracted to PEOPLE LIKE MYSELF. fudging around it and going “oh well we all know what i MEAN by that” doesn’t count as actually hearing the concerns of nonbinary people.
i know that’s your word. i know you like your word. it was my word too. i had to learn a new one, a word that was more inclusive, so that i could have a word that encompassed my identity and the multitude of other gender identities. i feel like the resistance to this critique is basically “shut up, we’ll get to you eventually”, and that feels like a really unnecessary, counterproductive thing to have in a queer community
(also i’m not getting into the awkwardness i felt about her responses to questions about race & intersectionality, but there was definitely a distinct… focus on things that were not race or white privilege in her responses, which was kind of missing the point?)
idk please no one take this as like UGH JULIA SERANO SUCKS or anything, i will still lend “whipping girl” out to everyone i can and i am going to buy the new book & definitely love huge chunks of it, i just wanted to talk about how i felt on this point
and if anyone has a defense of the word “bisexual” that addresses my concerns more directly i would really love to hear it! cause it totally doesn’t feel good to feel separate from a lot of other queers, or excluded, or to feel like i’m somehow being the ID police as a result. so i’m totally open to a dialogue on this!
It’s a complicated issue.
The bottom line for me, as a cranky old radical bisexual and queer is that the binaries were imposed on bisexual people, not claimed by us as ideals or expressions of our own sexuality. Freudians (who originally owned pansexualism BTW) defined me as a person who hadn’t fully developed heterosexuality. Masters & Johnson defined me as an underdeveloped homosexual. Dan Savage still argues that we effectively choose between two different worlds on the basis of our primary relationships, while Bailey thinks he can quantify us by sticking electronic devices down our pants and reading the graphs while we watch binary porn. For Bailey, we’re the negative space in a bimodal distribution.
According to the bi = two theory, my life, loves, psychology, and religion are schismatic. I must suppress one half of myself or indulge both sides that are inherently in conflict. Woman/man, goddess/god, feminine/masculine are both essential and essentialized. Not only must I get my fix of both, but esentialism rules both my sexuality with and the gender of the people I love. Under this theory, women are women, men are men, and sex between them is always determined by anatomy.
The binary definition of bisexuality came from the abstractions of pinheads trying to explain why everyone wasn’t heterosexual. The expansive radical definition of bisexuality came from the autobiographies and autoethnographies of people and communities who did NOT fit into those heterosexist frames. Which is, according to the harsh lessons of the 20th century, how we should understand people. If the people don’t fit the definition, the definition is wrong.
The expansive and radical definition of bisexuality is that bisexuality is different. It is not men + women, it’s not straight + gay, it’s not heterosexuality + homosexuality. It’s a sexuality that crosses boundaries of sexual orientation because it works on a different dimension. It crosses boundaries of sexual orientation because it sees many of those boundaries as absurd political constructions.
Which is a realization we had to develop with all of our queer language. Homosexuality was originally defined around a belief that homosexuals were feminine men or masculine women. We now know that isn’t the case because the experiences of homosexual people speak otherwise. Just as the original theory of homosexuality is obsolete, so is the original theory of bisexuality.
In addition to challenging the existing theory of bisexuality and the resulting definition, we also experimented with queer, pansexual, and omnisexual as additive, alternative, and intersectional identifiers. I’m bisexual because I experience biphobia. I’m queer in that I’m skeptical of attempt to classify sexuality and gender. I’m pansexual in contexts where that needs to be understood. I’m also gay or straight in different contexts. These are not contradictions, they’re facets or dimensions of the complexities of real-world sexuality.
A central problem I see with the current round of discourse about labels is the tendency to essentialize both the sexuality and the language we use to describe it, when both are social constructions to varying degrees. My inner semiotician cringes when I see a line like, “the word bisexuality is inherently binary,” “the word bisexual verb noun adjective.” “Words have meaning,” drives my inner semiotician into a frothing rage.
No they don’t. Words have associations depending on which worldview or umwelt you choose to engage in. Bisexuality is non-binary in my vocabulary because I unapologetically engage in an radical bisexual worldview that questions the social construction of dichotomies and categories. That’s informed by a life of experiences with bisexual people who can’t be characterized in binary ways.
I agree with everything cbrachyrhynchos said above and while I’m only about 1/5th through Serano’s book, I think that is the point that she is trying to make.
Lesbians don’t all come from Lesbos. Gays are not all happy. Homophobia doesn’t mean terror. Plenty of words in the QUILTBAG are not used literally.
Or to put it another way to meteoroidlight, bisexuals didn’t tell you that bisexuality meant that you couldn’t be attracted to people like yourself. Bisexuals do not make you invisible. The dominant white heterosexist biphobic and transphobic culture did. When they told you misleading definitions of bisexuality, they did that to you. Bisexuals/bisexuality didn’t do that to you. We’re not asking you to ‘shut up because we’ll get to you later’, we’re asking you to listen to bisexual people (in particular non-binary bisexual people) instead of that toxic biphobic culture.
Bisexual people and our allies are fighting those bad definitions from the cissexist and biphobic culture so people can know what bisexuality really is about. What Serano was saying last night/is saying in her book (and in her online pieces on the topic) is that by attacking words like bisexual by claiming it doesn’t include non-binary people you, you’re attacking and excluding your own. The result is letting those forces of bi erasure, biphobia, and transphobia off the hook and creating movements that are homogenous in that way. If everyone believes this “bi is binary” crap, people spend their time fighting the supposed binarism of bisexuality, rather than the white racist biphobic homophobic transphobic patriarchal systems.
I keep seeing these adorable “imagine your OTP in this super cute situation” posts, but the trouble is that they’re all assuming that my OTPS are like ordinary human beings and not on spaceships, or cohabiting superheroes, or off at wizarding school, and then I have to do this mental conversion to be like, okay, if this were an AU fic…
KIRAAAAAAA!!!1!!! ISTG I but through ny shirt watching the last ep
So worried about her! Still in shock about Alison - I cannot believe she just stood there, even if the woman had been guilty! Sure she was not a pleasant person but good lord. And I really need Cosima to be okay because she and Delphine are so lovely. dsjkfdfk
“I watched the thing. Now I ship the thing, and I care too much about the thing, and the thing is breaking my heart, but I still watch the thing because I love the thing.”—any person who has ever watched a thing (via broken-windchimes)
everybody seems to think ravenclaw is a quiet place to read but i quite disagree
i mean maybe the fact that it’s so light and airy is because they need to be able to open the windows when jack blows something up while experimenting with charms in the corner
and the prefects always have their hands full because fights regularly break out over the fact that ‘post hoc ergo propter hoc is not a legitimate argument, diana!’ and ‘i can’t believe you think dorabella’s star maps are more accurate than mine! what kind of friend are you?’
and then of course there’s the divide between the ravenclaws that revere the old schools of learning and the brash new-world-new-rules ravenclaws that say ‘fuck you!’ to all magical conventions. and man, those prank wars are dangerous (especially when professor flitwick not only fails to stop them, but decides to join in on the fun)
i mean come on it’s a house of knowledge seekers that probably love to argue and theorize and experiment and have a certain amount of pride in their intelligence. things never go smoothly when you’ve got approximately 80 people all trying to be the smartest person in the room
#and then there are the Ravenclaws that go through existential crises every other week because of things they’re reading #WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE HAVE POTIONS HOMEWORK #I’M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHETHER OTHER MEANS OF TORTURE ARE ACTUALLY MORE ETHICAL THAN THE CRUCIATUS#AND IF NOT THEN WHY ARE THEY LEGAL #or #I AM CALLING OFF QUIDDITCH PRACTICE TODAY BECAUSE I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT WHY QUIDDITCH IS DIVIDED BY HOUSES #or I CAN’T GO TO RUNES BECAUSE I AM TOO UPSET ABOUT WITCH HUNTS IN THE MIDDLE AGES #IMAGINE WHAT THAT WOULD BE LIKE JUST IMAGINE IT#or BUT WHY IS OUR CURRENCY SO ILLOGICAL CAN’T WE FIX IT #or HOW DOES MAGIC GET PASSED DOWN BUT THEN ALSO APPEAR AT RANDOM NOBODY CAN EXPLAIN IT #IS IT IN OUR BODIES OR IN OUR MINDS OR WHAT #(just calm down and come to transfiguration okay) #I WILL NOT CALM DOWN AND I WILL NOT COME TO TRANSFIGURATION #IF YOU VANISH A THING AND CONJURE IT AGAIN IS IT THE SAME MATTER #IS IT THE SAME ESSENCE #(it’s okay. just vanish the pincushion) #IT’S NOT OKAY
I would think the monitors would change as time goes on, because you hardly ever stay in contact with the same person for more than an average of 4-6 year Unless their family/spouse
Yeah, to me it seems like they would have planted monitors as family or spouses for exactly that reason. Idk, maybe they didn’t have enough control to be able to do that, but it seems like it would’ve made sense. Whereas they argued that Allison’s husband was unlikely to be her monitor because they had known each other for so long. But if I ran an illegal human cloning experiment, I would want to plant monitors as their family, close friends, and/or spouse.