tips to write college papers
- begin with “buckle your seatbelts, motherfuckers, because in eight short pages i am going to learn u a thing that i only learned myself about two hours ago, so sit down, shut up, and enjoy the experience of my 4-am-redbull-induced-self-hatred-fuelled-writing-extravaganza”
- erase when finished with the paper
BUT THIS ACTUALLY WORKS
MAKE SURE YOU ERASE IT THOUGH
When I was teaching I once got a paper that was — well, it was organized, but it had very little supporting evidence quoted, and was laced with profanity throughout. About ten minutes after I set it aside to speak to the student about later, I got a frantic email from them. They explained that they used that format to structure their paper and then wrote the rest of the paper based on this somewhat indecent framework. They’d printed out and turned in their rough draft by mistake, and had attached the real final draft to the email they sent.
I emailed them back saying I understood and would accept their final draft without issue, and once the email was sent I must have laughed for ten minutes straight.